A nice long ramble ...
There are so many things to be said about being pregnant, but somewhere after leaving Kottayam I feel like I lost my voice. It’s so hard to blog about stuff that you feel strongly about. I know this seems incredibly weird as more and more people get out there sharing more and more of what is important to them but more and more I feel like making the odd cryptic utterance and then deal with trying to decipher what I meant later.
Stuff like boobs stomach race bigger first. Ultimate winner stomach. Ok, there was nothing very cryptic about that. Seriously though - my body is not freaking me out as much as I thought it would. Maybe later when I can actually see her moving around in there but so far my body is reassuringly still familiar. I am clearly pregnant now. Although this season doesn’t do much in the way of enabling me to flaunt my body publicly ( you know, for parking etc), when I am at home, it’s amazingly wonderful to me to look down at my belly and know that my child, my baby, my Aditi kuttoose is in there.
My boobs on the other hand are just amazing. I’ve become used to not having any at all to having something there, thanks to an all round weight gain that I could have happily done without, but now I have bazonga boobs that are just out of control. Seriously not a week goes by without them expanding into a new zip code. I am a little scared of these boobs now. It’s like they’ve been hibernating till now but now they have awakened to their lifes purpose and they are on a mission now. A mission to feed those octuplets that were born recently.
I’ve heard that breast feeding can be hard, not from my mom though, who acts as though we fell painlessly from her womb and latched on without a fuss and only later became the demons that she recalls us to be. I think about all these things - like breast feeding and labour and will Ro still love me or will he love the baby more. Ro occasionally counters with will I still love him or will I love the baby more and depending on where my hormone level is, I worry about that too - not, if will I no longer love him but will he be jealous of the baby? Luckily for me, this is the best trimester and I know its all going to be ok. Thank god it didn’t occur to me when I was the hot mess in my first trimester in Chile who wept all the time because I couldn’t go out anywhere because it was smoky and everyone else was getting drunk just to make me feel left out.
What else do I have to say about being pregnant - it’s kind of sucky and wonderful all at the same time. I’m frequently constipated, always have the sniffles, can’t sleep at night and all this is considered pretty normal and I’m lucky I don’t have it worse. Then you go online and look at http://www.lennartnilsson.com/ and you realise to bitch about all this is just petty. I am growing a human person inside me and creepy as that it, its also so freakishly awesome.
